EMO

LAST night , should be slept early after sent msn to sj ..
How ever, the effect of the medicine seem come late...
so i decided to find her to chat chat as she on long leave since last week .

Through the chat, i realize that actually i am not tat pity as wat always appear in my mind.
She is really the nice senior, assistant manager i ever meet.
Safe me when i was down in my career path ,
Train me inside out.. Even she jz said " i willing to teach , still need u to learn ..."
Even now i still at the progress of learning. But the feed back from my team senior,
THey said i actually not bad, y my reputation in my ex team so horrible?!
I also wan to know y...
It should be that i need a better environment to perform....

Now those assistants in my team is being attached to a senior for mentoring purpose ...
Except me ... I wondering y ,... and ask her last night ( 12 AM )
She said... u r under me .. just that cn fly ad so let me out alone...
But yet still careless... wahahahahaha.... should i be happy ?!/..
Well ... half half..
First half is becoz she trust my work and fang xin to let me out alone...
Second half is just that am i  good in acting strong.. until she think i cn make it even though i am not..
Well ... this is not the time to wondering all this..
As today is Wesak day ( public holiday ) , so let update my blog abit ..

I always think that if i show them that i am weak actually .. easily get hurt..
Will they still rely on me?!
i DUN think so ...
As i know , Singapore is mean for those capable people ...
So in order to stay on .. i have to be strong enough to take all this..
Well .... action sound louder then saying ...
So... i have to prove to them that i cn make it..
As my appraisal is year end.. And she said highly probable to be promoted..
Wat ?! Highly probable ?!!!! NO WAY !!!!
Mz be confirmed .... so it indicate that i am not good enough ..
So have to do more.. give more.. put in more in put..

I discover that actually career is my only asset currently i owned.
So , i have to make it valuable when i am young to do so ..
As being a youngest in the team ,
I have to work harder and smarter to add value to my career ..
I cannot be assistant for ever.. this is not where should i stay on ..
I NEED TO MOVE ON !!!!!...


Dun stop here... u have to carried on and move on ..
Some times i really think that , confident ... is from my self...
Not from others... As long as u dare to do smthg... u did it..
No matter failed or passed.. As long as u gt the courage to do it ...
When u fall down .. no one will laugh at u provided u able to stand up by ur self..
No point giving up when u failed.

All the challenges only here to make me stronger and not to bit me down ..
Challenges are here to teach u some lessons and prepare u to become a better person ..
What did not destroy u ... make u stronger...
U need to fall first before u know how to walk ..
So dun scare about failure .. welcome it and learn from mistake..
Life will be easier in the future..

Well.... y i writing all this.. I jz want to convince my self that actually i can make it de..
Stop wondering .. put it into action and make it come true...
Dun scare when people look down on u ....
Ur life never end as long as u never give up urself..
As long as my heart still there... i sure i cn make it..

Last time.. got one intern said : just do it.. it will end.. just matter of time..
No matter how horrible is the thunder storm ... it still will stop one day and sun will rise..
So ... there is no forever success and failure..
When u failed.. just rest and prepare ur self for future..
Dun ever look back ... face front and keep moving..

Changes is needed when error or mistake is detected...
No point running / flying to the wrong directions..
In order to success, u must have a clear direction...
Have a strong believe.. strong confident..
stick on it... dun easily change ur direction...

Remember... the world keep changing...
One time failure do not mean any thing..
PLease kindly forget what ever is past..
focus now to create a better future...
Let go those mean to be let go..
Appreciate  those mean to be...

Dun care about others point of view...
U r the owner of ur life.. not others...
PLease be responsible to it..

chatting v her.. make me motivated ( working stuff)
SHe said until i think that actually i am not that bad...
hahahaha.... perasan ...

Well .. is true...
I really have to thank she and my lovely manager..
I dare to argue with him regarding audit stuff..
Last time in my ex team ... whatever ex manager said.. i jst said yes... sorry my fault.. i amend it ....
lol.... lik a slave talking to his owner...
It sound funny but it damn true...

So i can conclude that .. I not suit to survive in a competitive environment ...
I need to have some certain freedom and guidance in order to perform...
Well..... since i ad here... so just continue .. i believe one day in the future...
I cn prove to them that actually i cn make it !!!!!...
ahahahaha.... fully charged ....

Our chat end at 1.45 am ...
Long one... she really a good one..
Glad to have her as my superior..
Lastly .................................................................................
Simple the best... forget the rest.. fight for the best...